TIE-TC 191: The Great Beef Acquisition

Battle Information

Game platform: TIE Fighter
Missions: 5
Release date: 2001-11-11
Last updated: 2005-08-16

COL Beef

Average rating 3.1
Reviews: 11
Bug reports: 0
Times completed: 103
Patches used: None

Battle Reviews

GN Triji Boliv



Oh Beef. You were a fantastic story teller, but your mission design leaves something to be desired. Having the ships you're supposed to be protecting not IFF as friendly, making it harder to find the true enemies among them? I'm sure not a bug, as that's probably what you had in mind, but wow was that unnecessary. I gave it a 4 despite my frustration with some of the design choices because the story was a lot of fun.

GN Mark Schueler



Tries to disguise the fact it's badly made with humour. In reality the only joke is the battle itself - which isn't funny.

GN Abel Malik



Don't believe the hype- fly only if necessarry!

FA Brukhar



No where near as good as the hype. This "masterpiece" features annoying briefings that focus way more on humor than on actually helping the pilot in the mission, and it has cap ships with starfighter orders, and destroy 100% of all fighters type missions aren't much fun either. Overall, its pretty aggravating. Don't fly unless you need to.

MAJ Deleted Member



This battle was sick, twisted, wrong, and HARD!! It took me 5 trys to beat the first mission. But, it was fun.

CPT Alexi Stukov



Well, it was original. Very funny, very...odd. Only a one-time battle to fly. Difficult. And the cows in the 4th level to tend to ram each other along with the ISPCA VSD that rams the Escort Carrier on certain occasions.




I got my very first high score on this, so it must be good... ;)

LC Michael Emrys



A good *hard* battle that should *only* be flown by those pilot who are looking for a challenge.

COL Sauron



Lol, great battle... some of the missions are a bit frustrating (at least until you bother to read the hints in the txt file - this is a good idea :P), but a humourous storyline.

LT Jaydar



I thought the Battle was really very funny and a nice bit of relief.. however the last two missions were extremely frustating to finish..

COL Carl Lost



This battle has funny briefings and really demanding missions :) Quite enjoyable to fly or as others say : "Mooooohhh!"

Battle Bug Reports

There are currently no open bug reports for this battle.

High Scores

Battle Total: 104,809 LC Repulsor 2014-02-15
Mission 1: 21,525 LC Repulsor 2014-02-15
Mission 2: 28,596 LC Repulsor 2014-02-15
Mission 3: 11,474 LC Repulsor 2014-02-15
Mission 4: 23,551 LC Repulsor 2014-02-15
Mission 5: 23,335 LC Repulsor 2014-02-15

Top Ten

(of available records)

1 104,809 LC Repulsor 2014-02-15
2 71,590 LC Scuslem 2004-09-12
3 69,366 AD Ranthier Khaen 2003-06-24
4 68,546 LC Azazel 2002-08-21
5 54,913 LC Thorn 2003-08-28
6 51,219 MAJ Deleted Member 2002-09-14
7 24,038 COL Chei-Ras 2002-11-13
8 19,851 CPT Tvan'Oris 2002-11-25
9 12,335 LCM Ice 2004-06-21
10 9,752 COL Wes Janson 2002-08-12

Battle Completion Statistics

This battle has been flown by 96 pilots a total of 100 times.

Title: The Great Beef Acquisition
# of Missions: 5
Game Platform: TIE Fighter
Author: Captain Beef
           FL/CPT Beef/Thunder 3-1/Wing X/ISD Challenge
           BS/PCx3/ISMx6/MoT-gh/CoB/OV  {IWATS-SM/2}  [T/D Mad Cow]   [GALL]  
           Zayin 3-3   }:(:) -moo

Required patches
* none

Installation instructions
1] Double click the .EHM file, the EH Battle Launcher will install the battle
2] Check the Misc folder in your TIE95 one for additional material like patches, sounds etc.
3] Press the TIE Fighter button on the EHBL to start the game
4] Create a new pilot and fly the first battle

	Your job is to watch over the Emperor's Hammer's herd of space cows (they make good steaks!) A group of cattle rustlers steal some cows. There must be revenge. Don't forget to read the humorous briefing questions. Hints are at bottom of file.

Mission 1: Herd the Cows
	The CowChasers are attacking! Herd the cows into the Barn before they are stolen or killed.

Mission 2: New Cows
	The famous Bovine Farms as offered some replacement cows for the ones you failed to save in the last mission. Make sure the CowChasers don't kill these ones too.

Mission 3: A Sheepish Diversion
	The EH has finally decided to punish the CowChasers and take back their stolen cows! But the CowChasers have our cows too well guarded. Attack their sheep farm to draw the guards away from the cows. Let them think they've won.

Mission 4: Cow Reclamation
	We are ready to steal our cows back! The thieves are herding the stolen cows to the Ranch. Use a false IFF code to get close. Kill all the thieves and capture the cows back before they reach the Ranch.

Mission 5: Sue them!
	The ISPCA (Imperial Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals) demands that the CowChasers pay for harming the cows and sheep. Track down the escaped Ranch and disable it. The ISPCA will send some lawyers to take all their money!

  Mission 1: Ignore R-41 Thief because they are disabling the cows. R-41 Butcher is trying to kill the cows; they are a bigger risk. The disabled cows will be fixed at the end of the mission by T/B Blacksmith.
  Mission 2: Attack R-41 White Noise as soon as they come out of hyperspace; they'll stop attacking the cows to attack you instead. Send GUN Spoon home as soon as the mission starts; it a bonus goal if he survives, but the R-41s usually kill him. SHIFT+S for T-wing Deadly Cheese for reinforcements or the R-41s will overwhelm you and kill too many cows.
  Mission 3: The FRG arrives only on "hard" difficulty
  Mission 4: The cows will fly the distance to the ESC until you capture them, giving you plenty of time. But, if you attack the ESC before the cows are captured it will flee and the cows will start entering hyperspace as soon as they come out. Attack the ESC last.
  Mission 5: Don't disable the ESC until all of R-41 Sonic is destroyed. That way when R-41 Pop starts attacking the VSD that comes when the ESC is disabled, you can focus on saving the VSD. Wait 10 seconds after the VSD leaves and the ESC is destroyed and the new patrol ships from mission 3 will arrive; their destructions are bonus goals. The FRG arrives only on "hard."


Captain Beef
Corrections made by CM Carl Lost /Psi 3-1/Wing II/SSSD Sovereign :
-mission1: set target for ATRs on IFF "CowChasers"
           set global goal "100% CowChasers destroyed" to "75% CowChasers destroyed"   
-mission2: changed Primary Goal "At least one of T/W Deadly Cheese must complete" to Bonus Goal 
           and set 5000 pts
-mission3: -no changes
-mission4: -no changes
-mission5: -no changes